On Harley Street in London, many fine examples of British architecture of the 18th and 19th-century are evident. With its expensive real estate, Harley Street is best known for addresses of some of London's top doctors and specialists.
For the past two days, I've been waging an internal debate about whether or not to post this news. After all, it's a private matter and this is the shout-it-out World Wide Web.
Then I read Cate's post Darting around Town in a "Riddler" Outfit and Corey's post Filtered Light and remembered a passage from Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat Pray Love about being absolutely truthful - particularly when your truth might help someone else.
So here it is: my trip to London didn't go as expected. If I'm honest, for a few months now, I've suspected something wasn't right. But I wasn't ready to face the dark shadow skulking about, waiting to make its reappearance.
My visit began inauspiciously enough. Train from Paris, taxi to hotel, dropped my luggage, tube to Oxford Circus and walked the short distance to Harley Street. A few grim minutes later, I was telling my doctor, "Just get it over with!" as he asked permission to perform an endometrial biopsy in his office, without anesthesia. Because it seems the pre-cervical cancer scare, for which I had surgery two years ago in London, has returned, adding an annoying new development for good measure. So after enduring three minutes of excruciating - and there is no other word for it - pain, I was good to go - on to the next test, the next scan, the next hastily-arranged appointment at a laboratory nearby.
In a flash, all my London plans flew out the window, replaced by rather more worrying ones. In two-and-a-half weeks, I'll be back in London having surgery. The problem must be treated quickly, before it leaps from "pre" into "the big C." Despite outward appearances, this is a good thing. I am lucky to have one of the top specialists in London looking after me and excellent health insurance to pay for most of it. Soon this little detour will fail to present an obstacle and I'll be back on the road to good health.
Living in the West, we are fortunate to reap the benefits of essential health care. Our fates might prove more guarded, should we live in a less-privileged part of the world. Recently, scientists have developed a vaccine that should help our daughters avoid the triple threats of cervical, vulvar and vaginal cancers.
I share this news not to elicit sympathy, but to urge you all - if you haven't already - to schedule a check-up with your gynecologist. My annual pap smears consistently have been normal; luckily, I had a wise doctor interpreting subtle signs pointing to trouble.
Most of my readers are women; many of you have been through something similar or something far worse - you know what it is to endure such woes. So please, take time to get regular check-ups. Sometimes we're so busy caring for others that we postpone looking after ourselves.
Oh, Tara - In my recent busy-ness I had missed this post and had to seek it out in order to get caught up.
Thank you for posting about this, and I'm going to look into this vaccine for my daughter, who is exactly the right age for it.
Take care of yourself, and I will be watching for news of your recovery!
Posted by: Diana | 14 July 2006 at 17:37
Tara
Bravo for posting about this. Early detection is vital. Mary's Mum had a full mastectomy 14 years ago, my Mum had hers in Jan '04. Both have good prognostications because they got straight down to their respective doctors asap.
Ladies, not only for your own sake but the menfolk who love you, get checked regularly. We want you around a long time.
As for the men reading this, a message for you ...
"In 2004 there were 10,209 deaths in the UK from prostate cancer.
Prostate cancer accounts for around 14% of male deaths from cancer in the UK and is the second most common cause of cancer death in men, after lung cancer."
[source: http://info.cancerresearchuk.org:8000/cancerstats/types/prostate/mortality/]
Learn more about Prostate Cancer [http://www.prostate-cancer.org.uk/index.asp] and get yourselves checked if in any doubt. Take it from me, a latex-gloved finger up the anus is *nothing* compared to what the ladies have to endure. Just do it!
Live long and prosper.
Mark
Posted by: Mark McLellan | 14 July 2006 at 09:17
forgive me for not saying anything sooner. Thankfully, this was caught early. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: michelle | 09 July 2006 at 04:02
I'll be holding a good thought for your surgery. (Sorry to hit you with so many comments at once...I'm quite behind in my blog-reading...)
Posted by: Marilyn | 08 July 2006 at 23:32
Tara I know the journey only too well as I have recovered from breast cancer. We are
blessed to have good doctors and treatment available to us. You too will be on "Solid Ground" I pray for that..your angels will guide you and stay by your side.Feel free to email me for private support!
Posted by: naturegirl | 04 July 2006 at 06:09
Hi Tara. I just read your blog. Will keep you close to my heart the coming weeks. God bless you.
Posted by: Britt-Arnhild | 03 July 2006 at 22:49
Tara, I hadn't scrolled to your earlier posts until now since I've been away for a bit. My goodness! To think I responded regarding the green sofa before this! I just read this and I send my best wishes. I'm so glad that you shared this, I know it must've been difficult for you. I've been through medical ordeals myself so I understand the pain, both physical and emotional, an illness can cause. Isn't it wonderful that they came out with a vaccine? I just heard it on the news the other day. It's expensive, like around $360 I think (without insurance coverage?) and it's unfortunate to think that those women outside of a decent health care system will be left out of the benefits yet again. Again, best of luck with your surgery! --paradise
Posted by: paradise | 03 July 2006 at 00:41
Tara, be strong and emerge triumphant.
Posted by: Kay | 02 July 2006 at 18:11
I wanted to say right..not wright.........but I guess I should have said bright! :)
Posted by: Catalina | 02 July 2006 at 17:37
Dear Tara, thank you for sharing this, you are wright, check-ups are important and sometime we just leave them for later.....(that's me.....)
I hope you will be well soon, all my good thoughts and wishes will be with you. Don't be afraid. Pre is not C and you are going to be treated. Hugs
Posted by: Catalina | 02 July 2006 at 17:36
Dear Tara,thanks for sharing this. You come across as such a wonderful and strong person. I hope you get through this time in your life and emerger stronger.
Posted by: jinxthegypsy | 02 July 2006 at 14:34
I seemed to have been a little late to the "party" on this one. I just saw this and, as a man (albeit a few of those that share my gender question my post-ego grunting phase stature to claim said title) and brother (philosophically), I will pray for you with intensity....
...and pledge that I will dutifully submit myself to the male equivalent of these tests when my doctor says that it is time to do so.
Posted by: Scott | 02 July 2006 at 05:38
Tara, I'm glad you shared this with us. I am a big proponent of yearly Pap smears, or every two years if it's been established that one is low-risk, especially as we grow older, and you are very courageous to speak up.
You're in good hands (it was a Harley Street doctor who saved my mother's life once), and you will be fine. I know the process isn't comfortable at all, but I also feel you will be just fine!
xox
Posted by: Colette | 02 July 2006 at 04:07
TARA - THIS IS IN CAPITALS CAUSE I WANT YOU TO TAKE NOTE - I AM NOT YELLING :)
I HAD CERVICAL CANCER - 6 YEARS AGO. PLEASE, PLEASE EMAIL ME. I HAVE ALOT OF INFORMATION. LOTS AND LOTS OF IT.
I AM SENDING YOU LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS AND SUPPORT. XOXO
PS SORRY ABOUT THE CAPITALS XXO
Posted by: ms*robyn | 02 July 2006 at 00:56
My thoughts and prayers are with you Tara. I wish you a speedy recovery. Hugssss
Posted by: Cookie | 01 July 2006 at 20:39
Tara, you are in my thoughts and prayers and thank you for sharing such a private and personal matter with us all. I'm glad you've got excellent medical care, I'm sorry you're going through all of this, but as you said, it's much better to be in this pre state, rather than something more serious. I'm praying that this vaccine does what they're predicting.
Posted by: kristen | 01 July 2006 at 18:33
This is heart-stopping. I join all the other wonderful women here who have promised prayers and support and to daily hold you up. What power there is in this intentional collection of wills. Tara, I send you all my love and prayer for goodness in your life.
Posted by: Rebekah | 01 July 2006 at 17:17
Thank you so much for sharing your truth.
I also have a truth to share that I know will help others, just as your sharing helped me today. The only bad thing is that my particular truth makes it excruciatingly difficult to go through a pelvic exam.
I was raped by a friend in a very gray sort of a situation in 2003. It sent my life into a tailspin that I have managed to recover from - and believe I have valuable things to share for other women going through similar traumas. But I still suffer from physical issues...
I find it horrible to be touched by a practitioner, no matter how sensitive and understanding she may be. Your post reminded me, once again, of how important it is for me to make myself go to those exams. I will be back in the US in September, which is when I plan on going for my annual. I was already planning a million and one excuses for not going to the appointment.
Thank you for sharing your truth.
Posted by: Ali | 01 July 2006 at 16:36
Tara, I'm adding my caring thoughts to the multitudes of others from this international community of writers, readers, and friends. And also a big thank you for the not so gentle reminder to schedule my own check up which is about six months overdue. Be strong, be well.
Posted by: becca | 01 July 2006 at 16:30
Awwwwww...we will miss you, I will keep you in my prayers, that's too bad. But i'm sure you will recover quickly.
By the way, that Barcelona chair is lovely. You have an eye for beautiful art and we feel your natural and positive energy on each post. Come back soon to us.
Posted by: cathy | 01 July 2006 at 14:16
I must say, I was very upset as I read your post. I love coming to your site and reading the most wonderful things you do and see and how fabulous it is to live in Paris.I am sending you healing thoughts. 3 years ago..I had a total hysterectomy. Thank God..No C. I lost 2 dear friends to cancer last year. It made me see life in a different way! Enjoy every minute,don't sweat the small stuff, Go ahead and LIVE! That's what I learned. Peace. love and happiness. Pam Aries!
Posted by: Pam ARIES | 01 July 2006 at 14:08
Tara, thank you for this brave and honest post. Just want to wish you the very best for the surgery two weeks from now. Only the other day CNN was talking about this new vaccine aimed at girls from 9-26 years. Hope it's made available soon. I have two daughters and I would not hesitate to do this for them.
Posted by: Lotus | 01 July 2006 at 13:59
I came here via a link from Tinker. I send you well wishes and thank you for posting this. My daughter has been thru similar and she needs to keep checking, but hasn't been, mainly because of lack of insurance (many, many dont have!). I will send your site and maybe it will help her decide to get checked. Thank you and hugs, hugs, hugs. Take care.
Posted by: judie | 01 July 2006 at 13:34
God bless you and thank you for sharing and thinking of others while you go through this ordeal. You are an extremely special person.
Posted by: Rosa | 01 July 2006 at 08:00
Thank you for writing this; it contains such an important message. So happy that you're taking good care of yourself and getting the care you need. xo
Posted by: patry | 01 July 2006 at 07:10
Oh, honey, I'm so glad you told. And that you're taking good care of yourself. I want to wrap a warm blanket of care around you.
Posted by: deirdre | 01 July 2006 at 06:21
May healing light pour through you, heal you and bring you the grace to walk this journey with confidnece and peace. I trust our blogging community to support you through friendship and prayer. Tara, my thoughts are with you, I am glad you shared your news with us, so we can be here for you.
Posted by: tongue in cheek | 01 July 2006 at 05:41
Good for you for catching it early. You are right on the nose about how we women tend to take care of everything and everyone else but ourselves. You're inspiring me to contact my doctor next week to get in for a check-up, not for gyno stuff but for a mysterious recurring twitch I've developed over my left eyebrow which I'm hoping is just a pinched nerve or something. I tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac at heart and therefore always try to brush off symptoms, but something is telling me this isn't quite "nothing". So thanks for sharing your story.
Posted by: The Bold Soul | 01 July 2006 at 04:40
Tara - So glad you DID share this. What good are we as a community of support if we don't share our trials as well as our joys with one another? I'll be praying for wisdom and quick healing for you through this process. Thanks for the good reminder that we must be proactive in caring for ourselves. Blessings to you!
Posted by: KimG | 01 July 2006 at 03:53
I had to read this 3 times and then go away and think... I felt like Annie.... frozen... wish I could reach thru this screen and give you a big hug.... but instead I will send all the positive healing vibes I can thru cyberspace.
Posted by: diana | 01 July 2006 at 03:24
Tara, you are so remarkable and courageous! Thank you for sharing your story--your intentions are beautiful, and your words, as I see from many of these comments, are already making a difference! Thank you for this important reminder!
My prayers are with you--treat yourself very well during the next few weeks! Please keep us updated! xo
Posted by: Cate | 01 July 2006 at 02:42
You are so brave and yet wise to share your personal journey. We are a family that watches out for each other. You are a special lady and we stand, in spirit, right beside you. My prayers and hugs to you and your loved ones, even though things will be fine :)
Peace
XXOO
Posted by: Tammy | 01 July 2006 at 01:58
Though I know you aren't looking for sympathy it's there for you, along with prayers and healing thoughts.
Posted by: jzr | 01 July 2006 at 01:24
Oh, Tara, I'm so glad you got to the doctor in time to prevent this being any worse. I "felt your pain" there with that biopsy - Ouch! But so much better than the alternative of No treatment. We are very fortunate here.
I'll be thinking about you - sending healing thoughts. Take good care of yourself - you've come to mean so much to so many of us!
Posted by: tinker | 01 July 2006 at 00:43
For a moment Tara I was just frozen. In such a short period of time, I feel I have grown so close to you and the thought of you being sick just, well, sickened me. I am so grateful to God that what you are facing appears to be less than could be feared but still more than one would want. I am also very grateful that you made this post because I've put off my own check up for too long. So, be well my friend. My thought and prayers are with you. Blessings, Annie
Posted by: AnnieElf | 01 July 2006 at 00:31
Oh, goodness... hugs and love to you. You have an amazing outlook on this which is wonderful, but at the same time.. if you need to shed some tears, I hope you have someone close to do that with.
You'll be in my prayers.
~Oh and thanks for the reminder.. I really need to see my ob-gyn.
Lot's of positive vibes your way!
Posted by: bella | 01 July 2006 at 00:09
Oh my Gosh! I am so happy you are going to be okay!! I hate to think of you in pain like that, though. ((you))
And you are so right. Women need to take care of business! My MIL didn't get check-ups at all, for 21 years!! Then, when she finally went, she did have cancer, and we are just lucky-- like you said-- that we live where she could get the best care, and save her life.
Tara, my thoughts are with you! And all my prayers, too.
:)
Posted by: amber | 01 July 2006 at 00:04