The master manipulator

Before the Storm painting by Linda Harper, photo courtesy of Gallery A, Taos, New Mexico

For the "arch-nemesis" prompt for Sunday Scribblings, I didn't want to write a piece, as I don't like to dwell on negativity. But in the spirit of continuous participation in Sunday Scribblings, I've decided to write an abbreviated version of this tale.

This is a true story about a woman whose jealousy and deep-rooted feelings of rejection caused her to deliberately manipulate the lives of three people - with dire consequences.

Margaret, the master manipulator, looked innocent enough. She was a tall, slightly overweight redhead with a loud and lively personality. She was married to an affable Israeli, with whom she had three children. To all outward appearances, they lived happily in their nondescript condo near San Francisco.

Margaret earned a good salary selling long-distance phone services to businesses in the San Francisco Bay area. And she drove a red BMW, courtesy of her wealthy Jewish father in Seattle. When we met through work, she was very friendly and talkative. Almost immediately, she suggested I should meet a long-time friend of hers. She said his family was originally Greek, but he was born in South Africa. He was handsome, charming and smart - and a single father to a then 14-year-old daughter. When she said she had dated him several years earlier and they remained friends, a warning bell sounded in my brain. As I had no intention of meeting her friend, I ignored it.

Margaret phoned several times, wanting to meet for lunch and asking if she could give my phone number to her friend. I said no, but finally took his number and told her I'd think about phoning him. Meanwhile, she'd had her boss at work telephone me, ostensibly to discuss business. I was abrupt with him, as I'd been called out of a meeting to take his call. But he kept phoning - seems he was intrigued by my voice. Early one morning he showed up unannounced at my office, saying he had to meet me.

"Antonio" was originally from Guatemala, drop-dead gorgeous and relentlessly charming, the kind of man that constantly has women swooning at his feet. While I was flattered by his elaborate attentions, I'd already been around the block (around the world) a few times and knew better than to succumb to his obvious charms. We flirted a bit, laughed a lot, had lunch, a few more phone conversations, had dinner, a few delicious kisses, but that was it.

Margaret was eager to learn all about my relationship with Antonio, as she was attracted to him (but knew she didn't have a chance). I told her Antonio wasn't the kind of man I wanted to be involved with, other than as friends. Further, I wasn't the kind of woman to kiss and tell. She said Antonio wouldn't give up so easily. "He'll have to, because we're going nowhere," I assured her. So she switched tactics, again insisting I phone her friend.

One Monday evening in early February I was feeling discouraged by the lack of suitable men in my life. On the spur of the moment, I phoned Margaret's friend "Gavin." I was struck by his charming accent and his sense of humour. We talked for 45 minutes, then made plans to meet four days later for lunch in San Francisco.

I decided to look at the whole thing as a lark. Imagine my surprise and delight when Gavin turned out to be not only handsome, charming, smart and funny, he was single, sexy and available! And he was seriously interested in me. We went out several times, fell madly (mad being the operative word) in love, took a romantic trip to Gualala and Mendocino and (rashly) decided to move in together. We were delirious with happiness.

Margaret expressed much enthusiasm for our union, seemingly on a relentless campaign to cement our relationship. Once Gavin and I moved in together, she would meet each of us separately for lunch, ask personal questions and slant these conversations when recounting them to the other party. For instance she would phone Gavin - who knew about Antonio's attraction to me - and suggest Antonio had asked her "When is she going to leave Gavin? She should be with me; she's too good for that guy." Gavin would never tell me any of this, but started acting suspicious of my every move. The seeds of doubt had begun to take root.

One Saturday morning Antonio showed up at our front door, driving Margaret's car. When I answered the door, Antonio threw his arms around me and wouldn't let go. When he saw Gavin standing in the hallway, he said he was babysitting Margaret's children while she was out of town (!) and they wanted to see me. They all trooped in and Antonio made small talk with Gavin, who glowered with barely-concealed fury while I made tea. Once Antonio and the children departed, Gavin exploded with rage and accused me of having an affair. "It's obvious that he's smitten; he keeps phoning you (how did he know that - I never mentioned the calls) and hanging around your office. And now he's even come to our home and thrown his arms around you! You must be having an affair!"

To cut a long painful story short, Gavin never got over his groundless jealousy and possessiveness. Margaret constantly fed him tidbits to make him wonder about my loyalties. Meanwhile, Antonio gave up on me and dated a nice young hairdresser. Guess who introduced them? That's right: Margaret, the matchmaker. Eventually Antonio married the hairdresser.

But Gavin persisted in his accusations, his belief that I was secretly carrying on with Antonio. He listened in on my phone calls, played my voice mail and answering machine messages and read my diary. Once he even telephoned my boss - who was out of town at a conference - to ask about my whereabouts. Gavin was a man possessed!

In the end, it became intolerable. No matter what I said or how many times I denied that anything was going on with Antonio - I hadn't even spoken to the man in months - Gavin refused to believe me. Margaret kept dispensing regular doses of fairy tales. She fed similar silly stories to Antonio's new bride, making her question Antonio's fidelity.

Margaret was enjoying the results of her machinations - she felt powerful. Not only was she claiming her revenge for Gavin dumping her all those years ago, she was getting even with Antonio for rejecting her advances.

After Gavin's paranoid fears made it impossible for me to stay, I moved all the way across San Francisco Bay to get away from him. Margaret started phoning me, as well as Gavin, full of false apologies and remorse. By this time both Gavin and I had uncovered the full extent of Margaret's treachery and her devious games. Alas, the damage was permanent: the trust was lost and our relationship destroyed. And Margaret didn't care about our feelings - she was concerned only that we'd tell her husband what she'd done.

Still, Margaret wasn't finished pulling the puppet strings. She told Antonio that Gavin and I weren't together anymore, because I couldn't forget about him! Her motive? She hoped Antonio would leave his bride to woo me - all because he hadn't been attracted to Margaret!

Needless to say, I changed my phone number and severed all ties with this shallow, twisted woman. But at least three people suffered at her hands. Someday this deeply unhappy, bitter woman must pay the piper.

Comments

[GeL(Emerald Eyes)]

Shivers and Shakes.
This is not the type of experiences you will ever forget. How I wish you hadn't lived this. It's easy to discern from your fanatastic writing that this is only a sample of the agony you sufferred. I, too, have known "Margarets" although under different circumstances.

[Jone]

What a horrid person. It once again proves that fact is stranger than fiction. It would make for a good novel.

[TI]

A real nightmare. Some people need loads of help!

[giggles]

Oh gosh haven’t we all dealt with someone similar to M. Nasty characters who run ours lives from behind the scenes…. Ugliness in true form! Sorry you had to endure such an evil woman! How could you ever trust again? Boy doesn’t it pay to heed those first warning signs! Glad that’s all way behind you! I suspect a young male manipulated in a very dear relationship of mine, but I have no proof! One day the truth will be known!

[sundaycynce]

I have really read very little Stephen King because horror is just a genre I steer clear of both in books and movies, but from what I think I know of his writing, your story sounds like something I would expect to see in his works, but much worse/much more frightening because it is true. Thank Heaven you were able to shake yourself free of all of it! Margaret surely is a sick, sick woman.

Thank you for your kind and empathetic comment about my "overwhelmed by stuff" nemesis. It is a bit hard for me to completely acknowledge because I just don't seem to be dealing with it well at all.

In response to your question about declining quality and increased plagiarism in high school research papers having to do with student time spent on the internet, my answer is "Absolutely." I assume you are aware that research papers can be bought online, complete with all mandatory documentation. I've never actually perused any of those sites but occasionally have come across sample literary analysis papers on "Cliff-note" type sites. I do see a positive side to these, because it helps students see a little more deeply into some of the classic literature they read as cursorily as possible & only because it is required. Anyway, the sites that sell completely written papers even offer A, B, or C quality papers, so the smart plagiarist is somewhat less likely to get caught at it than the C/D borderline student who suddenly turns in an incredible A paper, of quality and lucidity he/she has never before approached. And, as I have mentioned before in other posts, the GREAT MAJORITY of students today, even students in Honors classes, have VERY FEW qualms about cheating, believing it is only truly bad if you are caught at it.

[patry]

A horrific experience, to be sure, but it would make a great novel!

[Kim G.]

So sad. She must have been so very miserable with her own life to be so mean. I'm so thankful you were able to get out of that trap with your heart in tact (bruised though it might have been).

[Nina]

The woman sounds 'mental'.

I must say I have not met anyone so twisted in my life but I think I can guess the type. The insecure, the most cunning and self-centred. Horrid.

I am sorry that you have 'accidentally' crossed her path.

Love. Nxxx

[Footpad]

I've yet to understand why some people must try to control the lives of others, instead of focusing on their own. I wish I could completely sever ties with one such person in my life, but the cost to do so would be more than I could bear. (And, no, it's not the lovely JP.)

Revenge is a hunger that consumes all other considerations, one not worth feeding. I'm not certain, though, that revenge is always the motivator for such behavior. It certainly was in your case and I empathize with your experience and the pain you went through. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Terrifically written!

-- f

[susan]

In the end most people get what they deserve...you now have a husband who so obviously adores you and a beautiful, welcoming home. Margaret will never really be loved because she does not know how to give love....et pour tu, mon ami, ce n'ai rien de problem ;-)

[rel]

Tara,
Dang it, that kind of behavior just plain sucks! I'd like to smack her and ask her just who appointed you the reincarnated Catherine the Great? I'm not sure she is either nemesis or arch enemy. But you may be her nemesis; if she has any conscience.
Are you thinking about writing a story based on this interlude? Then, send her a copy to brighten her day ;-)
Great Sunday Scribble girl!
rel

[Mike]

Wow!! That is about all I can say. Great write though. It did keep the attention glued. Saludos.

[wendy]

Women make very good villians. You deserved none of this.

[tinker]

Imagine if M. had put that much energy into orchestrating something worthwhile, for the good of others - we might have at least one of our social ills healed by now! Such puppetmaster mentality is truly disturbing - I'm glad you escaped her clutches, and lived to tell about it - I wonder how many abused women (and men) are really the victims of such meddling and manipulation. Jealousy can be a dangerous beast to tame once it's been awakened.

Even if it's not celebrated in Paris, I hope you're having a wonderful holiday weekend!

[bella]

What a story! My goodness, I am sorry that you 3 had to suffer at the hands of M, but thank goodness you got away from her. Thanks for sharing that story.

[January]

Machinations is a good way to describe Margaret. Wow, what a story. I like to think that people who behave like that always get their comeuppance in the end.

[Linda]

Sometimes life is stranger than fiction. Your story is a case in point. Write a book on your life-it will be a best seller!

[lalala]

So much excitement! At the very least, you must be flattered. Good thing you'd been around the block in time to recognize the A's of the world...I fell for one of those hard. G sounds a bit insecure...What a crazy world that woman likes to create around her! Too bad she didn't go into sitcom writing in order to channel that creativity instead of being so destructive!

[artzyjudie]

OMG that woman was crazy. You were right to move away. I have had a Gavin in my life also and it is not fun. These kinds of guys are really insecure and cannot love and trust anyone. Probably A was the only one who mostly had it all together, but he was toooooooooooooo much! Interesting story. It would make a good Danielle Steele novel!!!

[Becca]

People like M. truly frighten me. They have so little of value in their own lives, they have to resort to manipulating the lives of others for satisfaction and entertainment. And what a horrible expererience for you - thank goodness you managed to get away with your spirit intact!

It makes a marvelous story, though ;)

[herhimnbryn]

P. Had me glued to the page. I suspect she will receive her karma! Well, I hope she will.

Thankyou for your comment at Secret Hill.

[Kamsin]

It is hard for me to understand how people can behave like this. What a sad existence M must live.

[Amber]

ooo. I can't wait to read the rest! And also get caught up with your blog. I miss you!

:)

[Kerstin]

What a sad and twisted person M was. I wonder whose relationships she is trying to ruin these days? I can't imagine having someone like that in my life, poisening my lover's trust in me. What goes around comes around, I guess for her that will mean ultimate loneliness. You had the strength to move on and have found your deserved happiness :)

[Laura]

Yikes, what an horrific story! What a horrible person! So glad you're far away from all that.

[Britt-Arnhild]

It is a good thing that you could look through her, but unfortunately still stree persons had to suffer. I feel real pity for M, she must be a lonely and very sad soul.

[Di]

The manipulating outsider in my first marriage told me through her tears ... 'Stop fighting us, you're only pushing us together'.

It makes me laugh to look back down through the years at her now. I like my life as it has become ... but yes, my 'best friend' was in love with my husband and felt my protesting this was pushing them closer. Perhaps she even imagined her warning was kind ...

She still lives in smalltown New Zealand, presumably with the husband she was already complaining about and me ... well I'm enjoying the world :)

[Jayne]

Oh, hon. I'm sorry you went through that. The people who play games with others lives certainly do reek royal havock, don't they?

That's why I can't write about my nemesis. She's done some things that get waaay under my craw, but I can't say anything. Ah well.

[JanePoe (aka Deborah)]

I like what Ren.Kat wrote ... yes, people like this should focus their considerable energies on healthier causes. I too have run across a person very much like this & eventually had to sever all ties as well. What I think of when I reflect on people like this is, "How sad it must be to be them." Besides making the lives of others a living hell, they ultimately are their own worst enemy.

[Richard]

I don't understand, and probably never will, how this sort of person looks at herself in the mirror each morning ... but it makes a good, if scary, story.

[ren.kat]

You know, my pet peeve with Ibsen's work is the existence of a character like this woman in each of his plays. The person who sets the drama rolling without any motivation whatsoever. Kristin in a Doll's House, Greigers in Wild Duck- it is still an element of real life that I just can't settle down quietly to accept. These people exist, don't they? Wouldn't the world be more fun if all of them just wrote plays instead of orchestrating them?