Boarding passes, art gallery tickets and hotel stickers from my travels
For Sunday Scribblings:
Men I admired, attracted to me
harmless flirtations
bright sparks amidst routine
a wink and smile
an appreciative remark
conversation over lunch
a drink with colleagues
but nothing more
lest a crush threaten
the relationship that sustained me:
Orange crush*
Everything changed
the night we met
setting into motion a chain of events
that kept us connected
despite continents between us
I dreamt of you,
thought of you every day
fantasized about seeing you again
wrote clever cards and letters
and recorded tapes
Those days before email and mobile phones
you rang me from whatever country
you happened to be that week
in between trips you trained for triathlons
wearing funny t-shirts I sent by courier
After a long absence
an unexpected encounter
in London for a last-minute assignment
caught the last flight; too late to phone
I walked in the Chelsea restaurant
Jetlagged and weary,
the cliche of the foreign correspondent
wearing a rumpled trenchcoat
a battered reporter's bag slung over my shoulder
looking for the maitre'd
As you rose from your seat
Crazy for You played in the background
your smile lit up the room
and I wept tears of joy
in your arms, I was home
More phone calls from foreign climes
all the while, longing for more
but meetings deferred
too many stamps on our passports
sending us in opposite directions
You wrote and asked me
to move to London, saying you needed more
but work made it impossible
self-preservation instincts kicked in
I tried to tell myself it was just a crush
So why did it hurt so much?
*Play on words referring not to the soda Orange Crush, but to the fact that the "crush" was from Holland and orange is the traditional colour of the Dutch monarchy, as well as the colour of the Netherlands and its football team.
very romantic.
sad ending, which I didn't anticipate.
Posted by: my backyard | 19 February 2007 at 20:43
I was there with you. How romantic and bittersweet.
Posted by: Jone | 19 February 2007 at 19:19
Beautifully written! I like the play on the meaning of orange crush. A wonderfully romantic and tragic story.
Posted by: whitney | 19 February 2007 at 18:54
You sure know how to write about love, Tara. Maybe because you live in Paris, but I think it comes more from your amazing life and skill.
Love it.
:)
Posted by: Amber | 19 February 2007 at 18:16
I liked Orange Crush. You write so well. I love reading you.
Posted by: gautami | 19 February 2007 at 13:54
How incredibly romantic, Tara! I've always loved Orange Crush - but I especially love your version of it! xoxo
Posted by: tinker | 19 February 2007 at 09:34
There is nothing more romantic that these types of unfulfilled love. Romantic to read, anyway, I am sure it was hell to go through.
Posted by: Mardougrrl | 19 February 2007 at 06:13
Sounds like more than a crush to me... crush sounds so adolescent but your story is so much more than that!
Posted by: bonggamom | 19 February 2007 at 06:07
Tara — I raced through this, watching to see which way your heart would turn. So many possibilities, so many choices — and all of them agonizing in some way!
Yet what would life be without the heartbreak? Thanks for this.
Posted by: KG | 19 February 2007 at 03:10
My dear, you've had quite a romantic history! It must have been exhausting---I'm so glad you've found your good David and your life in Paris.
Posted by: Laura | 19 February 2007 at 00:22
Tara, you tell such magnificent and tantalizing stories, and you do it equally well in prose or poetry---what a talent!! No wonder you can make a living with your writing. Thanks for sharing with us all.
Posted by: sundaycynce | 18 February 2007 at 23:22
This is better than Orange Crush could ever be--so luscious and tactile! I want to be you when I grow up!;)
Novel
Posted by: Novel Nymph | 18 February 2007 at 21:56
reading this, i felt like i was right there as a voyeur :)
Tara, you write so beautifully........I always feel completely pulled into your words......
Posted by: awareness | 18 February 2007 at 21:18
Really liked that first bit :)
Don't get me wrong, enjoyed it all, but that first bit strikes a chord..
Posted by: Inconsequential | 18 February 2007 at 20:24
Tara, as beautiful as this is, I won't hesitate to tell you that I'm DYING to know whatever happened to your crush? :)
I think I was traveling right along with you as I read this. It was very romantic!
Posted by: Lisa | 18 February 2007 at 20:05
Oh the bittersweet taste of love. And the long distance romance that squeeze" every ounce from us.
Great take on today's theme Crush!
Posted by: tongue in cheek | 18 February 2007 at 18:53
just stunning!
Posted by: nicole | 18 February 2007 at 18:45
Wow....wow....
Chamara
Posted by: Gypsy Purple--Chamara | 18 February 2007 at 16:30
Beautiful words, bittersweet love...the collection photo of your travel ephemera was incredibly intriguing.
Love,
D.
Posted by: Delia | 18 February 2007 at 16:22
Whew! That is what you call a Loooooong distance relationship! I once mved to Canada to be with a guy I was in love with!
Posted by: Pam Aries | 18 February 2007 at 15:35
International crushes are the worst. Or the best. Oftentimes both. Beautiful writing :)
Posted by: sognatrice | 18 February 2007 at 15:16
Touching! A sweet glimpse into your heart!
Posted by: Gemma | 18 February 2007 at 15:04
Unattained love. Tragedy.
Nxxx
Posted by: Nina | 18 February 2007 at 14:47
How romantic, yet heart-breaking.
Posted by: meredith | 18 February 2007 at 14:33
That was beautiful, brought tears to my eyes. I too sigh...
Posted by: waspgoddess | 18 February 2007 at 13:52
Brilliant from start to finish. But now I have questions, questions....!
Posted by: Maryam in Marrakech | 18 February 2007 at 09:46
Beautiful, poignant poem! Left me wanting more!
Hugs Sherrie
Posted by: giggles | 18 February 2007 at 09:38
Love the orange tinged photos. You have led a very interesting life.
Posted by: Linda | 18 February 2007 at 09:37
Love the orange tinged photos. You have led a very interesting life.
Posted by: Linda | 18 February 2007 at 09:36
Wonderful writing.. as always you have me under your spell to the bitter end!hugs NG
Posted by: naturegirl | 18 February 2007 at 08:10
Beautiful post. I love the photo too.
Posted by: sarala | 18 February 2007 at 05:58
elegant narrative to match the vibe of your site. Crushed? Crisp a newly starched napkin.
Posted by: ish | 18 February 2007 at 02:45
I always enjoy your perspective on things. Well done!
Posted by: khambagirl | 18 February 2007 at 01:55
This was amazing. An amazing play on words, an amazing piece of work - and now I have the song running through my head... not such a bad thing - since it was music from Faith's crazy Patty Cake Praise videos!
Posted by: holli | 18 February 2007 at 01:51
bittersweet is such a wonderful emotion in stories, especially yours.
Posted by: kristen | 18 February 2007 at 00:50
so so good. Tara.. had me going to the end...
Posted by: diana | 17 February 2007 at 23:06
great poem, Even though they're heartbreaking- makes me long to have a "crush" again!
Posted by: lucy | 17 February 2007 at 22:13
I'm a sucker for real romance stories but this was like icing on the cake. Well written and soooo romantic! XXOO
Posted by: Tammy | 17 February 2007 at 21:11
Can a crush like this - heightened perhaps by a heart grown fonder by absence? - ever sustain itself in the reality of day-to-day living? Very poignant and beautiful, it makes me wonder: what became of him?
By the way, congratulations on the blog award!! I am glad that you and Corey did so well with this, you both really deserve it.
Take care,
Kerstin
Posted by: Kerstin | 17 February 2007 at 20:26
Lovely in a sad kind of way. I had a crush once who I recorded tapes for...never gave them to him though!!
Posted by: Karen Travels | 17 February 2007 at 20:10
How do you know when a crush is not a crush anymore?
Very poignant, Tara...
Posted by: Regina Clare Jane | 17 February 2007 at 19:54
So romantic-a reminder of loves lost by circumstance-wrenches at my heart!
Posted by: Flights of Fab Fashion Fancy | 17 February 2007 at 19:51
Tara,
This is right up there with the best of your writings. Your feelings laid out with a melody of unbridled love.
rel
Posted by: rel | 17 February 2007 at 19:47
Even when you do what's right for you, it hurts. People think it's so easy for the one who says "this isn't right for me", but it isn't. I believe your self-preservation was well placed: a romance like this one is usually only sustained by the absences and ecstatic reunions. In retrospect we see whether we were right or not. xoxo
Posted by: Colette | 17 February 2007 at 19:30
this is lovely T, and heart wrenching too x
Posted by: susannah | 17 February 2007 at 19:04
Fabulous post. Creative and woven well.
Although I think you're question is rhetorical, I recall telling my children that I believed the ending of an intense crush is as painful as love because that type of crush is love. Love comes in many forms.
Posted by: GeL(Emerald Eyes) | 17 February 2007 at 18:45
Fabulous post. Creative and woven well.
Although I think you're question is rhetorical, I recall telling my children that I believed the ending of an intense crush is as painful as love because that type of crush is love. Love comes in many forms.
Posted by: GeL(Emerald Eyes) | 17 February 2007 at 18:43
Wonderful poem! I really like the sense of movement, how you conveyed you were both constantly on the move.
Posted by: Kamsin | 17 February 2007 at 18:00
Congrats on your Blog Award! I didn't know about it til now. What a fab honor! Love the Orange Crush...both the art layout and the words.
Posted by: judie | 17 February 2007 at 17:45
Oh Tara this is so heart tugging and at the same time so beautiful it conveys such longing while offering a comfort that is only found in our loved ones arms.
XO
Kristen
Posted by: kristen robinson | 17 February 2007 at 17:25