Mourning rituals

"It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope.” - Robert F. Kennedy

Last night we watched the Emilio Estevez film "Bobby," which after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, served as a painful reminder of how two of our best hopes were snatched from us right when they were needed most. As a child I was affected deeply by Robert F. Kennedy's death. Sadly, there's never been another leader who captured the spirit and imagination of the American people like RFK. Despite his privileged background, he worked tirelessly to help improve the lives of those less fortunate and alleviate poverty, racism and other forms of social injustice.

Watching the film, I was struck by the extreme contrast of 1968 and today. In 1968 people stood up and protested the war, social injustices and racism; they made their voices heard. Nearly 40 years later, apathy seems rampant in America and few people are doing anything to try to effect positive change. Too many Americans seem to care about nothing but themselves and their own comfort. Yet the gap between the haves and have nots grows ever wider, as our freedoms and civil liberties are curtailed at an alarming rate. What will it take for us to wake up and accept responsibility for ourselves and others?

To match my somber mood, here are photos from an exhibition From the Cradle to the Grave at Castle Museum in York, England.

Mourning dress in Victorian times from an exhibition at Castle Museum, York, England.

In the final "half-mourning" period, women were allowed to wear grey, white or shades of purple.

An accounts book for funeral services and burials.

Mourning cards, photos, a memorial flower arrangement under a glass dome and a doll dressed in traditional mourning clothes.

Hand-sewn funeral garments were typically made in advance. If the deceased lacked his own garments, the undertaker provided them.

The funeral tea comprised primarily of biscuits and port wine was an important ritual in Victorian society, particularly in the north of England.

Special veils, jet jewelry and various accessories were part of the mourning process. Click photo to enlarge and read more about rituals influenced by Queen Victoria that typically were adopted during a two-and-a-half-year mourning period.

A large wicker basket often served as a coffin in Victorian times.

The Burneston Parish Hearse was purchased for £40, 5 shillings in 1908 by the Parish of Burneston near Bedale, North Yorkshire. During the 19th-and-early-20th-centuries, country parishes often bought a bier or small hearse that could be pulled by hand or by a pony. The bier of stretcher inside the hearse was used to carry the coffin from the church gates into the church and then to the graveside. After World War II, hearses were used less frequently, due to motorised transport. The Burneston Parish Hearse was sold to the Castle Museum in 1967.

Comments

[Kristen R]

I cannot help but feel as though we have lost some of the reverence once reserved for the passing of a loved one. This looks as though it was an incredible!
XOX
Kristen

[Jeanie]

This is a fascinating post, Tara -- and I particularly loved the photo essay. I have always believed that the Victorians, in a way, knew how to grieve. These days it's three days off work and you're back. Yet so many times, the grief bursts don't begin till well after that, once things set in. The wearing of the mourning, the mourning wreaths, all those things "reminded" others -- "treat me a little gently for awhile." Lovely post.

[karen]

Just a thought....... In 1968 people protested because there was a draft. Had there not been a draft apathy would have reigned in the U.S. just as today.

Tara responds:
Yes, they protested the draft, but they also protested the war in general and social injustice and racism. It was a very different time in 1968 than now.

[Becca]

A very appropriate post today, and most interesting as well. I hope you're feeling better, Tara, and will welcome the New Year with your usual joie de vivre!

My best wishes to you, David, and Jordana :)

[Christine]

A wonderful post, thanks.

[Merisi's]

Oh yes, I remember the day when I heard about the assassination of Senator Kennedy. I remember the exact spot, near some rose bushes, where somebody approached the group of children around me with the shocking news. I was a small child then, but I remembered JFK's funeral, which I had been allowed to watch. These were frightening events. Years later, standing at their graves at Arlington National Cemetary, I felt the somber mood of those days and wept for their loss as I had when I was a small child.

An exhibition about death and funeral rites, "exitus. Everyday Death", is still open until January 6, 2008 at the Künstlerhaus in Vienna. Very interesting, but also very hard to travel through. I got physically sick after the first half hour and had to go get some fresh air before I was able to continue. Still, well worth the effort ("Death must be Viennese" -- so it says in a Viennese song. The exhibition at Künstlerhaus on the occasion of the 100th birthday of Bestattung Wien, the Vienna Interment Service, explores this statement and deals with the Viennese culture of daily life and the artistic access to death, mourning, and remembrance: http://www.wien.info/article.asp?IDArticle=16466&austria=1&site=us).

[Britt-Arnhild]

Beautiful photos.

Is it the ending of a year and hopes of a new one which give us this mood. In blog world, no matter what alot of people say about blogging, we can help change the world. One blog is one of the important ones.

[eb]

such somber beauty here - and a dark turning - thank you for articulating what we hold silently in our hearts...

xox - eb.

[wanderlustNpixiedust]

Especially here in America, a very large percentage of our population is apathetic. I'm sure there are many who have no clue who Bhutto was, what she stood for, and who could care less about what is happening "way over there."

On the other hand, there are those who are following closely but who see all of these recent events as the beginning of the end. There is a bumper sticker that I see every once in awhile that says "Religious fanatics are scary no matter which country they are in." Or something to that effect. My husband warns me of what I say and of where I say it.

I wish that I could believe that everything will be better once Bush is out of office. I hate feeling so negative but my gut tells me that this is not to be. The damage that he and his administration have set in motion worldwide will take many years to repair. It disturbs me so that so many of my fellow countrymen could be so blind.

[naturegirl]

Tara it is a time of sombre moods for many across the globe hearing of the latest assination. Your expression of sadness and grief here is very moving.

Wishing YOU a bright Happy New Year
filled with PEACE love inspiration good health and many blessings. Hugs NG

[rochambeau]

Dear Tara,
Today your post brings tears to my eyes. I'm in agreement with your every word. The Robert F. Kennedy quote reminds me of you actually. I know I have said this to you many times, but it's worth saying again. Your courage in "spelling it out" for "what it is" happens to be a gift! You give a concise voice to how I feel. It is hard for me to do what you do naturally. I'm grateful that you, one strong woman can speak the truth. The truth that is my truth!! I seriously fear what will happen when so many people ignore truth by not paying attention! You see, I can not articulate myself like you, but I can feel the things you say are correct!

Lets you and me keep going forward towards the light of truth and justice for our brothers and sisters.
Each actions like your post today can weave into the big picture Tara!
Thank you.
Constance

[boliyou]

Excellent photoessay, Tara. You've seen some of the most fascinating things, and you share them well. I also saw "Bobby," and will have to see it again. You're right, people don't stand up as they did in those times. Not to the same degree.

[Amber]

Why do you think things have changed so much, Tara?
I think people-- NOT just in America, but in the West!--- are just spoiled. We have been made too soft. We take for granted all that we have, and can not even imagine not having it, or having it all taken away from us. None of us have to fight for anything, and we all think society just OWES us our living and freedom and rights. Look how many people DON'T BOTHER TO VOTE. Even women, and black people-- after all the fighting not so long ago, just to get that right!!
We are just a bunch of veal calfs. Soft, and soft-headed and more interested in barely talented Hollywood morons and socialites, than in a woman like Bhutto.
I wonder if we could even recognize a man like Kennedy anymore, if we had one?

:/

[Tammy]

You hit the nail on the head Tara. Do we need to wait for something that effects us all before we get what's happening?

I hope you rest and feel better soon so you can ring in the new year with hope.

XXOO
PEACE

[judy wilkenfeld]

Fascinating Tara.

[Amy]

Apparently in those days people also made mourning rings out of the loved one's hair. I like those costume photos btw :-)

[A Fanciful Twist]

Oh, it is all awful tragic and nasty isn't it? I feel it too..... What will come of this country? And the world? What? So overwhelming.....

Huge huge hugs!!!! I am back from my trip, can't wait to catch up with you!! xoxoox

ps: The images were incredible above! WOw!

[robyn]

Well said, I think that right now in the US, we just want the Bush Administration to be over. We've been dupped! Even though I never voted for him, the middle part of America (between coasts) believed in him. And, both Gore and Kerry ran a terrible race against Bush.
People are ready for someone new and for an actual leader. We haven't had a leader for a long time.
The film about Bobby is one of my fav's too. Happy New Year Tara.

[Cherie]

I have two mourning cards like you've shown..one each for my great grandparents, both deceased in Devonshire.

I too had the same reaction when I watched "Bobby". He was an incredible leader...you felt him, you knew he was "for and with" the people. It shook me more when he was assassinated than when his brother was, probably because I was that much older.

[Sandra Evertson]

A timely post. We can only hope for better things to come in the new years.
Hope you are feeling well soon!
Sandra Evertson

[marita]

how perfectly your words and images match together.
standing up for less privelaged, fighting for the right cause have vanished in time...
the netherlands have sunk into this global pool as well, drowning in apathy represented in this typical quote coming up more and more these last years...
everybody within himself first and god for all!

[Gillian @ Indigo Blue]

Tara,
Like your friend Jeanne, I too hope you are starting to (physically) feel better. I know you have been quite dragged out with this flu. It sucks, doesn't it? With so much to be done, to be confined to our beds, yuck! You especially, being on the go all the time. I hope if you don't yet that you soon feel much better. xo
As for your sombre mood, it is rippling out since Bhutto was killed, with raging debates about how she died etc. The point is she was taken from the world. I hope people find their voices and carry on the message. Her work is not yet done. Such a bloody shame.
I had to laugh-last night Julian and I decided to "gut" the office. We are moving it into a different room. There is stuff all over the place! But Julian never throws anything out. Sometimes that is good, sometimes not. But last night, in the midst of all the chaos....out pops this carton with old (well preserved) magazine style books, A History of the English Speaking Peoples, a series Winston Churchill either fully authored or at least contributed to. (His name is all over it.) I was reading about Medieval Tortures & Punishments, and so when I saw your Victorian mourning wear, I thought right away we must be on the same page! Silly, isn't it!
xoxo
Gillian (Sorry for the War & Peace sized comment love!)

[Jeanne]

Yes the world is truly a very different place.
I love your photographs.
I love you
I hope you are feeling much better.
Love you
Jeanne ^j^