Vintage knocker on painted door, Montreuil-sur-Mer, France.
"Courage is one step ahead of fear." - Coleman Young
I have flown hundreds of flights, both international and domestic. But with every year that passes, I am more and more anxious about flying across the Atlantic. The tragic disappearance of Air France 447 just amplifies the worry. Yes, I know flying is considered the safest mode of transportation. Yes, I know it's ridiculous for someone who's traveled as much as I have to give flying a second thought.
But in the past few years, the only way I can endure a long-haul flight is to pretend I'm not on a plane; to distract myself with books, music, movies and conversation. Still, my heart is in my throat during takeoff, landing and during turbulence mid-flight. If you were sitting next to me, you'd never suspect I was nervous; I'm one of those people who remains calm in a crisis. And I'd probably be reassuring you that it's only a bit of temporary turbulence, while silently praying for a safe landing.
So I think long and hard about criss-crossing the Atlantic, when an opportunity arises - even one that could open intriguing doors for me. By happenstance, such an opportunity has just presented itself. This morning, as I was trying to talk myself into being brave about crossing the Atlantic (after all, I did it just last month), this message from Michael Bungay Stanier arrived in my inbox:
"Courage is almost always a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live, taking the form of a readiness to die." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton
"...Even though the etymology of the word harks back to the Latin word for "heart," the truth is that the battle to be courageous first gets played out in your mind. On the one hand you have that little voice saying "play it safe, don't be foolish, don't step away from what you know."
"And on the other, you have the call to something a little bigger, a little different, a little unknown. Notice the chatter. Rather than rushing through, linger a little at these crossroads. If this is a discussion, then it means you'll have a choice. Who's winning the debate? Courage? Or fear?"
"Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared."- Eddie Rickenbacher
"A courageous act isn't necessarily a grand thing. It doesn't necessarily involve fireworks and marching bands and unfurled banners against the sky. But it does involve action. A small step.
"It might be a step towards something, the beginning of a Great Work project, a Yes. It might be a step away from something, a breaking of an unproductive pattern, a No. But it's a step. When your mind is log-jammed, sometimes the easiest way to break things up is just to get moving."
"Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." - Arthur Somers Roche
"If the choice we face - and we face this in a thousand different ways every day - is between courage and fear, then it's a delicate balance that can tip either way. Just as if you let fear hold sway, it eventually cuts a deep channel (and Roche's metaphor is actually a good description of the neuroscience behind the way we think), so, too courage can cut its own path over time.
"You will of course occasionally tip to fear. But practice one or ten, or a hundred small, even invisible acts of courage a day and you tip the balance inexorably to your favour."
"A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Photo of rusty door hinge and peeling paint, Montreuil-sur-Mer, which seems like a predictor of what happens when we remain stagnant too long.
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Bob Herbert has written a brilliant piece slamming Republican faux outrage against racism, as they denigrate Sonia Sotomayor.
Lovely post, Tara.
We just returned to Sydney from New York, and I share your feelings but more about the long-haul flights across the Pacific. I recently wrote a series about my passion for travel, and one of the posts covers 'top ten in-flight insights' - it's here, if of interest (though I realise you're an experienced pro at this yourself).
http://mysydneyparislife.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/a-passion-for-travel-part-8-top-ten-in-flight-insights/
Cheers. safe travels, and best of luck with your latest opportunity.
Posted by: Carolyn | 12 June 2009 at 03:23
When I heard about the air crash I immediately thought of you and David. I know how it must make you feel but we have to venture out and keep our fingers crossed. I can't say anything to make you feel better about crossing the Atlantic, I wish I could.
Hugs
Di
xo
Posted by: Di Overton | 09 June 2009 at 20:49
I've been talking with a group of activist friend about courage lately - we agreed that it is a theme that we have been hearing a lot about lately. This excites us since we all believe that the solutions to the global challenges we are facing are really extraordinary opportunities - but we are all going to need to dig deep and find out courage if we are to seize them. I know you'll find your courage, you have so many moments of courage in your life to look back on and remind yourself just how courageous you really are!
Posted by: Marianne | 05 June 2009 at 10:36
Tara, Oh my, this is simply WONDERFUL! I love the sentiment and your illustrations and examples are so thoughtful. Surely one of my very favorite posts of yours, ever! As one of your friends in San Francisco, I am grateful that you overcome the fear enough to come and be here occasionally. You truly are lyrical today! ox, Joan
Posted by: Joan O'Connor | 04 June 2009 at 19:46
Thanks, that was a really good article!
Posted by: Sherri | 03 June 2009 at 22:41
What a fabulous post. I'm printing this one out to save.
Thanks Tara!
Posted by: Wonders Never Cease | 03 June 2009 at 22:32
I love visiting you. I save my vists for those times when I can actually read enjoy your words, learn something, get lost in beautiful photos and places, and hear words of a woman I admire.
I have not been on a plane in ages (you know this already). Yet I have no fear of death per se... I have traveled all over the world with my family, and as a child, I would just buckle into the plane and go. No fear, no trepidation, no question. I trusted that "my parents" had it all under control, my protectors...
Yet, as I type this (sorry I am veering from what I was going to say) I start to realize something. For me, perhaps it isn't the pilots or the aircraft that scare me away from flying - but more, fellow man, and what he/she might do while enclosed tightly up in the air...
Although, I might get myself on a plane very easily, like you, comfort others and just "do it."
However, moving away from airplanes :) I am absolutely moved by these quotes you have here. And I so believe in courage - and boy do I believe that anxiety can drain you into a pin hole.
I love this post. I have delved into and caught up on your beautiful blog.
I would say, you have an incredible space that you have created here Miss Tara. It is so fulfilling to visit you! xoxoxo
Posted by: A Fanciful Twist | 03 June 2009 at 17:44
You are exactly right. I feel all the encouragement in your words and those of others and know that courage is a choice. Didn't always know it before but am embracing it as my choice... sometimes two or three times a day now. Beautiful word stringing. Enjoy your day sugar!
Posted by: Leau | 03 June 2009 at 16:45
I feel the same way too Tara and like you, I have no choice but to fly- Lord help me!
I like the link to the possiblitly virus- I find it interesting and will go back when I have more time. I also very much enjoyed the insight into courage- isn't it wonderful when things come together like that ? Thanks for sharing
Posted by: elsa | 03 June 2009 at 12:25
It has crossed my mind more than once that, given the law of averages, I've made far more flights than my share. I've been flying since before I can remember (first flight, I was a babe in arms). I don't have fear of flying, but these days more often than not, I listen to my inner voice before I undertake a flight. I have been known to cancel a flight because I've felt uneasy, but happily it only happened once.
It's true that there would be no such thing as courage without fear. I think that's the quotation that struck me most.
xoxoxox
Posted by: Colette | 03 June 2009 at 06:00
I, for one. will certainly agree that courage can change your life! Lack of courage will get you nowhere. Another fine post , my friend! ps: Florida, how do I love thee...heh heh
Posted by: pam aries | 03 June 2009 at 05:14
can you edit Tango's name for me, i was typing fast!!! :)
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | 03 June 2009 at 03:49
Yes, oh yes. Anxiety cuts a chasm, actually, and thoughts are sucked into it like a black hole for some of us. Those quotes are sheer brilliance. Each one resonates with me. I guess I am only human in my fears of flying as well, for each time I fly, I like to joke, I become a Christian again!
I pray to Jesus for the plane, pilot, crew, passengers...sometimes I even whisper a prayer for the person I see reaching for their sick bag, as I know how shit scared they must be. The only difference between them and I, is that I have a stomach of iron.
I am proud of you for embarking on this adventure across the Atlantic. Tangoababy had it right when she said to carry on and not give it any thought, (for the day will come eventually) so why waste time being afraid to do things?
Funny enough, I just came back from the movie UP, and found it so inspiring. It touches on life's everyday adventures. Go see it! The adventurer in you needs to see it.
xoxo
love! bisous!
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | 03 June 2009 at 03:48
Tara~
I feel the same... I am so sorry for the fear and the loss... life is so very delicate... Thank you for sharing this post~
XO's
Janet
Posted by: FrenchBlue | 03 June 2009 at 02:43
This is a timely post for me to see as in two weeks (just two?) I will get off an Air France plane in Paris for new adventures! (More on that in e-mail!) When I heard this, my heart jumped into my throat, this soul who is cautious and a tad nervous about flying but not willing to stay home because of it. And now I am more fearful. It's a big ocean, a long distance and the same airlines. But the ends will be worth it, I believe with all my heart -- and the Chesterton quote is one I will hold close to my heart. Yes indeed, timely. Thank you.
Posted by: jeanie | 02 June 2009 at 22:44
Really like this post Tara. The words that stand out most to me, are the ones you conclude with by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage." It saddens me about myself and other artists.
Courage to take small steps. This is good advise for me. Also, great things come out of a series of small actions. Also, any action gets the ball rolling and starts the journey to following a dream! Thank you for all of your thoughts, for being you.
xox
Constance
Posted by: Rochambeau | 02 June 2009 at 21:09
I close my eyes during take off, I pray and I think of those I love. I remain calm, but i am really a nervous wreck. I know I must gain courage, because I don't want my fears to keep me from living, seeing the world. I have to say, I would get on a plane in a minute to sit across from you over tea. Fear and all. : )
xo
Posted by: Christina | 02 June 2009 at 19:59
Beautifully crafted post. There is nothing I fear most than flying and like you, I do it whenever I can get a chance. You die the minute you decide to start building walls around you. It is not living if you do not risk.
Posted by: Yoli | 02 June 2009 at 18:58
What a great post. Just what I needed to read today. I don't think this will change my desire to fly and travel because I could just as easily get hit by a car here in SF (crazy SF drivers running lights) but because it makes me realize that you just never know when your time is up... and I personally don't want to be afraid to do things until that day comes. I feel like I can't afford a moment to waste.
Posted by: tangobaby | 02 June 2009 at 18:33
Thanks for your words on courage. The rusty door hinge definitely gives a good visual on remaining stagnant. I shall keep that in my minds eye when I feel I am becoming stagnant, then take a big breathe of air, and move forward with courage.
Posted by: marilyn | 02 June 2009 at 16:53
Tara You have wrapped up all my thoughs about this and did an amazing job with this post. I am there with you, people say flying is safer but there is still something there that makes it not okay. Maybe it's just the large number of people that go at once or the fact that you can't just rush to a hospital? I love the perspective you've shared and thank you for this post.
xoxo Noel
Posted by: Noel | 02 June 2009 at 16:45