Evening views

Evening light on the canal, Amsterdam.

The view from our window...

 

...and through the trees.

Back from a lovely time in Amsterdam with much to report. Will fill you in on some travel notes later this weekend, in between brocantes/lunches/dinner with some charming visitors.

Speaking of which, I came across a wry draft post I wrote three years ago, after some exhausting and frustrating experiences with house guests. I enjoy entertaining guests who are seasoned travelers with reasonable manners. But certain thoughtless visitors tend to treat their hosts as though they're running an unpaid B&B, expecting them to cater to their every whim.

If you want never to be invited back to someone's home, may I suggest:

1. Ask your hosts to make dinner reservations for Saturday night, then turn up too late to change clothes and get to the restaurant. This forces your hosts to rush to the grocery store before it closes AND cook dinner, even though they were already dressed up to dine out. Yea, you've disrupted their plans!
2. Cut the rinds off your cheese and put them back on the cheese tray, rather than on your own plate.
3. Dip your baguette in your wine glass (!) and drip wine on the white embroidered tablecloth.
   
4. Put your coffee mug directly on a glass-topped table, ignoring the coasters.
5. Ask if you should tell an off-colour tale at dinner. When told "No!" do it anyway, leaving everyone with unpleasant images lingering in their minds. Later, repeat the same stupid story.
6. Drink too much and constantly ask for your glass to be refilled - even though another bottle of wine has been opened and it's not the same vintage that's still in your glass.
7. Start eating before everyone at the table has been served.
8. Come to a beautifully-set table in your bare feet, even though your host and hostess are dressed in elegant attire.
9. After a long, hot day walking around the city, take your shoes and stinky socks off and leave them under the coffee table; then put your dirty feet on a cream linen-covered chair.
10. Be served seconds, then, after a cheese course and dessert, ask if there's more food.
11. Offer to "help with the dishes," then bring two plates to the kitchen and leave the rest for the hostess to clear, wash, dry and put away. Linger in the small kitchen and try to converse with the hostess, while she is washing said dishes and considering locking you on the balcony.
12. Eat greasy potato chips (you brought with you) straight from the bag, while sitting in an antique linen-covered chair.
13. After your shower, hog the bathroom while putting on makeup, even though there are two perfectly-nice mirrors in your room.
14. Arrive with four suitcases for a six-day stay, but forget important prescription medication. Wring your hands, but refuse to see a French doctor. Complain until your hostess begs a pharmacist to give you medication like the one you were prescribed in your home country - even though you didn't bring a copy of your doctor's prescription.
15. Insist you're getting up early to run in the park, then go back to sleep after the wake-up knock on your door. Expect your hosts to revise their plans to accommodate your delayed schedule.
16. Leave your bed unmade, clothes thrown everywhere and the door open while you're away during the day.
17. Argue about international politics or religion during dinner and manage to offend everyone.
18. Talk to yourself constantly, as you move around the apartment.
19. Shout from one room to the next and expect your hostess to 1) hear you and 2) respond, when she is washing and drying crystal glasses.
20. Spend an hour on the computer writing email, every few minutes complaining loudly about the British keyboard.
21. Enter or leave the apartment without closing the front door behind you.
22. When your hostess escorts you to the metro, buys your tickets and shows you which train to take, don't offer to carry her heavy grocery cart up or down the metro stairs.
23. Bring your children to dinner, even though they're not invited.
24. Refuse the host's offer for painkillers and a lie-down for your headache, then stand up in the middle of dinner and insist you have to leave immediately.
25. Turn up an hour or more late without phoning and expect the hosts to wait dinner.

Comments

[Joan O'Connor]

Tara, Love your post! First, the pix of Amsterdam make me want to visit more than I can say. And Pia's new book will no doubt be a great guide, as is her Paris book. But your hostess nightmare list made me think of how frustrating and disappointing guests can be, simply by being boorish. In contrast, imagine the guests who arrive with simply lovely flowers, a new blank journal, some luscious food treat and/or something pretty (and consumable) for your enjoyment after they've gone. You and David are indeed so generous and welcoming, and I would hope that only the same would come your way.
Hope you'll be coming to San Francisco again very soon. You are overdue for a visit! ox, Joan

[Tara Bradford]

Jeanie, it's not my new view, alas - just the view from the hotel.

[jeanie]

That's a great list! And the photos of your new view -- WOW!

[Elizabeth Rhiannon]

Oh Tara, you've just described someone I know, that I rarely have contact with anymore haha! Is it any wonder? She drives me crazy. On a positive note, what beautiful views...must have been hard to leave. Well, to go back to Paris? Maybe it wasn't too hard to leave :)
Stay well and loved this post!

[Tara Bradford]

Anne, I have known Di for three years now and we've gotten together many times in Paris and once in England. It's always a treat to see her. And it is such fun spending time with the Claudias! We all love to trawl the brocantes (and shall be doing more of that this week!)

[anne]

Hi Tara I have been here before but not for a long time, saw that you met Di, Claudia 1 and 2 how much fun that must of been.

I have another blogger friend who lives in Paris, Bonjour Romance is her blog, she met Claudia 1 and 2 last week too..

I cannot believe how these people have behaved , absolutely shocked... very thoughtless and not good behaviour at all!

[Tara Bradford]

Di, you are one of my favourite guests! The guests I've referred to in this piece aren't regular readers of my blog. :)

[Di Overton]

Can't recognise myself in any of those - HOPEFULLY :)

[Linda]

Good heavens. I've never had guests like that. I must be very lucky.

[The Equestrian Vagabond]

eeeeeek! high maintenance visitors! lock your doors!

[Gillian]

Hopeless, helpless and hapless.
What pathetic guests. "Guests" is too generous a word for them.
Oh Tara, I am sorry you were subjected to such classless behaviour.

I admire you outing them like this! Even if you mentioned no names, they will certainly read this and hopefully learn from this post. One can hope at least....! Perhaps you've spared them future embarassments.

I love the window view; Amsterdam looks incredible. You shot that evening light so well. xoxo

[Emjay]

Jeez, hon, what sort of people do you know?? That list is horrifying.

[Tara Bradford]

Mary - and Yoli - thank you! You're both welcome anytime (and you don't have to do dishes). :) Mary, I appreciate the kind words about my photos.

[Mary H.]

The photos, as per usual, are delicious, Tara! There are no words for such rude behavior as exhibited by your guests. Please know I agree with Yoli's post, following a hug I will do the dishes!

[dutchbaby]

Tara, that first shot of the "Amsterdamse gracht" is a dream! I loved reading your gripe list - I bet it was cathartic to write it. Was this all one person committing these offenses? What a nightmare.

[Marilyn]

Beautiful photos!
I would hope not to do any of those on your list to anyone. I am always so grateful when someone would want to host us. I so enjoyed our time together last fall, it was a highlight of our travels.

[Tara Bradford]

Theresa, you're right - American and Australian. :) Thanks for the lovely compliment about my photos!

[Theresa Cheek]

First of all....those photos are mini paintings! Incredible....unfortunately ,those "guests" sound American to me...sigh....I can say that since I live in the US. Hopefully, we will all be a little more sensitive to our hosts when traveling. Thanks for giving me a chuckle !

[Tara Bradford]

Leonie, you and Nic were model guests! :) And you are welcome anytime, wherever we are.

[leonie wise]

crikey! i was dreading reading the list wondering how many faux pas we had committed whilst visiting!!

i for one have always been extremely grateful and amazed by your beautiful hospitality. and your husband's delicious meals

x

[martha ann]

oh my goodness... I sure hope my next guest do not do any...much less all of these dos and donts!!!!! ugh...
our last guest was a pleasure..... your best bet is to reccommend the nearest Hotel or just say... that paris has tons of hotels!!!!!! thats what we do in Santa fe!!!!!!
your view from window last weekend looked like Fall leaves.....
hope to see you on the Ave. des champs elysees this weekend!!!!!!ma

[Stefanie]

Oh I have one!

Show up home, throw bags down and the proceed to make calls and organise your schedule, ignoring plans and time your hostess has made to catch-up/see you. Rather act very put out by any such ideas and instead demand you drop other plans you have made to fit in with their schedule.

Amazingly I had that guest two times (and you know her) who is exceptoinally well-travelled. The first tiime I was shocked, but put it doewn to work stress. The second time my home could not have been more of a B&B if I had charged. Its was charming and has made me much more gun shy about meeting 'friends' from the internet. Thinking about it ... I haven't since.

Cough .... sorry about the slight rant.

[Yoli]

I am absolutely stunned that someone could have done such a thing. That has got to be the height of disrespect and inconsideration. I am so deeply sorry, I personally feel like giving you hug, right after doing your dishes.

[Catherine]

I wouldn't expect to behave like that in a paid B&B, let alone an unpaid one!

[Barbara]

While it is stunningly astonishing the depths of boorishness to which some people can sink, you do have some RICH material for characters for a novel! The photos above from the window give me wanderlust ... lucky you!